Four Years wrote:there was a time when i THOUGHT i had forgiven him.here's the problem though, i STILL live with the man. meaning he STILL gets to rattle my cage at will. it makes more sense to "forgive" him AFTER i get away from him.
Although this is hard and may make sense; however, this is not the case. You need to forgive father. Jesus says that regarless of how many times a person has wrong you, you need to continually forgive them.
Four Years wrote:secondly, what is "forgiveness"?
it means to pardon a person for the wrong they have caused you. When you forgive them, you do not harbor resentment or bitterness towards them. How would you feel if God decided to hold grudges against you after forgiving you for a sin. However, God does not do this, in fact He forgets them when you truly repent. If you forgave a person and then when you are reminded of a particuliar wrong they have done, then the enemy is at play. Rebuke it and take it to the Lord for Him to guide you
Four Years wrote:can i even do it on my own or do i need the Holy Spirit first?
You can do it on your own, it maybe hard but it is a must. Oftentimes the Spirit will lead you towards forgiveness.
Mark 11:25, “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too."
Matthew 6:14-15, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Jesus as He was dying on the Cross ask for forgiveness on the behalf of mankind said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.” Jesus even on the cross ask the Father to forgive all of those who persecuted Him, beaten Him to a bloody pulp, drove nails through Him ask that these people be forgiven. 4Years, this is quite astounding to me and it speak volumes: the ability to forgive a group of people that has done such as heinous act.
4Years, I do not know your situation and will continually pray for you. I will tell a little about how unforgiveness can hinder a person. When you have unforgiveness in your heart, it turns into bitterness, turns your heart cold, and turns into hatred. Remember we are made in the image of God and God is love: 1 John 4:16, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” Scripture states, “love comes from God” (1 John 4:8). The most important Commandment, Luke 10:27, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” To be made in His image you need to have love for others. When you have unforgiveness in your heart it makes you blind to the truth. Paul states that if you do not have, whatever gift you have is worthless (1 Corinthians 13:1-13).
I have seen first-hand how unforgiveness can destroy a person to the point they have turn away from God as well. 4Years, have you ever wrong someone or did something to another that has caused them pain. When you see what you have done you feel remorseful for it and when you go to apologize they do not accept your apology. Them no accepting your apology is unforgiveness. Let’s say that although they were hurt and they accepted your apology and did not hold any grudges against you, that is forgiveness. Or lets say you di not apologized or was not remorseful and you did not offer an apology; however, the person appears as nothing occur or did not harbor any resentment towards you. That is forgiveness. Jesus stated that no matter how many times someone has done you wrong, you forgive them for it. If someone slaps you give them the other cheek.
Iam sorry if this is all over the place, but I an clean it up for you if you like. My mind is moving a hundred miles an hour; faster than that of my hands. There is more I can add if you need clarification. I hopes this helps.
God Bless