I just found this ministry again after many years. I had a dream last night that disturbs me.
I was sitting in church and had to urinate really bad. Under me the pew became a toilet and I realized that I could use it. And was so relieved and and greatful that it was provided. But after I used it the pastors (husband and wife) and their daughter looked at me like I was disgusting.
Then I was sitting with all of them. And the worship music was really loud and "wordly type?" And all of them 3 were talking around me really really loud, louder than the music. And they were talking about other people in the church, really bad
I knew I had to leave, but they thought I was stupid for leaving.
And at the door there were some old t-shirts I was expected to take one. And I said,, 'I can't do this again". And woke up.
I can't shake it, especially the feeling of shame and sadness.
Dream about Church
-
prayingwoman
- Gold Member
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:06 pm
- Location: Germany
Don’t know if this helps…
In my dreams using a toilet means usually that a cleansing/deliverance process is about to happen (the natural process of the body –we have excretions because our body is cleansing itself - is an image for the spiritual process).
Deliverance/Cleansing/Repentance/Casting out demons is not popular in most churches (but it is one part of the gospel; God’s provision for us, Jesus did it, too!). If someone in a “happy clappy” church would start to do deliverance (and deliverance is just cleansing ourselves from demonic defilement) their leaders or their brethren may look at them as they were disgusting. (Most people don’t do deliverance, because they don’t want to deal with the “disgusting” demons, but the truth is, that deliverance is an experience with the power of God and His kingdom and it’s about Jesus’ victory over the darkness (Luke 11, 20))
I could imagine that the Lord may start a cleansing /deliverance/sanctification process in your life very soon (your desire to use a toilet was very urgent). Through that you will find release and freedom but maybe other Christians will have no understanding for that or the way how it happened, and even will find it “disgusting”. Cleansing is connected with repentance and some people could not discern between repentance and self-condemnation, they mix it up.
After that your spiritual senses will be more sensitive and you will become more aware of the spiritual atmosphere around you. If there is any defilement (like a worldly influence in the worship music) you may sense it. You may sense it, if something is not pure, especially if things inside church are not pure.
This discernment may cause a desire in you to separate yourself from such things. (Just a thought: Maybe you should pray about your current church activities, or the people you associate with, the ministries, where you invest your time – the Lord will show you, what is of Him and what’s not.)
So I think the dream should prepare you a bit not to be surprised too much, if people will not understand you if you stop joining them, because you have the God given desire to separate yourself from worldly behaviour or bad talking behind the backs of others.
The old T-Shirt, you are expected to wear, and which you refused, shows, that you are not be willing any more to stay at that old level, you are reaching out to a higher level, to holiness.
Did you pray in the past that God will reveal his holiness to you or that he may cleanse you in His holy fire?
These scriptures came in my mind:
2. Cor. 6,14-18:
Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what portion hath a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement hath a temple of God with idols? for we are a temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore Come ye out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, And touch no unclean thing; And I will receive you, And will be to you a Father, And ye shall be to me sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
Phil. 4,11
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Hope that something fits…
In my dreams using a toilet means usually that a cleansing/deliverance process is about to happen (the natural process of the body –we have excretions because our body is cleansing itself - is an image for the spiritual process).
Deliverance/Cleansing/Repentance/Casting out demons is not popular in most churches (but it is one part of the gospel; God’s provision for us, Jesus did it, too!). If someone in a “happy clappy” church would start to do deliverance (and deliverance is just cleansing ourselves from demonic defilement) their leaders or their brethren may look at them as they were disgusting. (Most people don’t do deliverance, because they don’t want to deal with the “disgusting” demons, but the truth is, that deliverance is an experience with the power of God and His kingdom and it’s about Jesus’ victory over the darkness (Luke 11, 20))
I could imagine that the Lord may start a cleansing /deliverance/sanctification process in your life very soon (your desire to use a toilet was very urgent). Through that you will find release and freedom but maybe other Christians will have no understanding for that or the way how it happened, and even will find it “disgusting”. Cleansing is connected with repentance and some people could not discern between repentance and self-condemnation, they mix it up.
After that your spiritual senses will be more sensitive and you will become more aware of the spiritual atmosphere around you. If there is any defilement (like a worldly influence in the worship music) you may sense it. You may sense it, if something is not pure, especially if things inside church are not pure.
This discernment may cause a desire in you to separate yourself from such things. (Just a thought: Maybe you should pray about your current church activities, or the people you associate with, the ministries, where you invest your time – the Lord will show you, what is of Him and what’s not.)
So I think the dream should prepare you a bit not to be surprised too much, if people will not understand you if you stop joining them, because you have the God given desire to separate yourself from worldly behaviour or bad talking behind the backs of others.
The old T-Shirt, you are expected to wear, and which you refused, shows, that you are not be willing any more to stay at that old level, you are reaching out to a higher level, to holiness.
Did you pray in the past that God will reveal his holiness to you or that he may cleanse you in His holy fire?
These scriptures came in my mind:
2. Cor. 6,14-18:
Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what portion hath a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement hath a temple of God with idols? for we are a temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore Come ye out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, And touch no unclean thing; And I will receive you, And will be to you a Father, And ye shall be to me sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
Phil. 4,11
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Hope that something fits…
Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139,23-24)
I was in prophetic ministry. i saw things happen in church that should not happen in the worst of places. b/c i was the only one who would speak out against it, i was put through hell. my family was degraded. My covering was filthy and there was a lot of witchcraft and demonic things happening that i tried to fight against. I thought I was obligated to keep trying and I fought and almost lost my sanity. One of the last prophetic dreams I had, a woman put her hand over my mouth and my mouth was sealed. I have not been in ministry in over 5 years. I am an RN now. I prayed the other day, "God I am ready. I am tired of running".
And thanks for the words. My heart is breaking. I miss the prophetic ministry. I was just so unprepared. But, I miss Him so much more. I miss Him so very much. I feel like I failed Him. Like i should have known what to do.
And thanks for the words. My heart is breaking. I miss the prophetic ministry. I was just so unprepared. But, I miss Him so much more. I miss Him so very much. I feel like I failed Him. Like i should have known what to do.
Dear jverdin,
Im glad God has given you some time away and to learn in a new career field.
I guarantee these types of things are still occuring.
I understand persecution from the enemy through people who are against the truelly prophetic flow of God.
Like Jezebel, the false prophetess had the true prophets of God killed, and lead Gods people astray to worship false gods.
I hope you found or will find a safe place to grow, heal and connect to the Body, which gives another indication from your dream...
The need to ensure those in your midst are safe and trustworthy people who value and love you and would not be shocked by any confessions, because they know that they themselves live in Grace and by His Mercy.
People shame others in order not to feel ashamed themselves. If they point out others imperfections, it keeps the heat off of them, ya know?
Praying for healing from these hurts.
Piano
Im glad God has given you some time away and to learn in a new career field.
I guarantee these types of things are still occuring.
I understand persecution from the enemy through people who are against the truelly prophetic flow of God.
Like Jezebel, the false prophetess had the true prophets of God killed, and lead Gods people astray to worship false gods.
I hope you found or will find a safe place to grow, heal and connect to the Body, which gives another indication from your dream...
The need to ensure those in your midst are safe and trustworthy people who value and love you and would not be shocked by any confessions, because they know that they themselves live in Grace and by His Mercy.
People shame others in order not to feel ashamed themselves. If they point out others imperfections, it keeps the heat off of them, ya know?
Praying for healing from these hurts.
Piano
All of us have run from church. My kids were so affected. There is a church here. Small congregation. Mostly older. But they love us. The few times I have gone, I have felt wanted. Mothered. Really loved. Spiritually, they believe in the gifts. Just don't quite use them as much. I prayed, and asked God if it was ok that we went to a church where the "gifts" were not used on a regular basis. And what you said I needed in a church, is exactly who these people are. They are not "up to date" on the new technology or such. But, they display the heart of God. I am so ready to be connected to the body again. A few weeks ago I was crying b/c I feel so dry. And I saw a withered branch. And I knew what God was saying.. Thanks so much Piano. All of you.
I just thought about something very ironic. I was recently put in a position where I was expected to lie to cover up abuse. While everyone was scrambling to protect their jobs, I went on auto-pilot and knew that saving my job was the least concern. When it was over, I had to resign my position so that my "legal" statement would leave my facility and go to the above powers that be. The only way to save this person from being abused again, was to resign so that my report was made public and there was no way that they could not respond to it and protect her. ( I promised her it would never happen again, and I knew that only God could navigate me through that mess to keep that promise)
Ohhh I was not happy about losing my job, especially in this economy. And when it was all over and I was exhausted from giving statements and being hissed at and while I was crying, I said " God why did you make me this way, why can't i look the other way like everyone else. It's like I don't even have a choice, I always have to defend people." I didn't actually wait for an answer, I was just having a pity party.
So I was just thinking about that just now. And thought about all the times that I was up against some type of authority, and confronted them. SCARED TO DEATH. Shaking. Trembling. But determined to do what was right in the eyes of God.. Anyway, I remembered when it all started. I had been sexually abused and physically abused from about 4-14. When I was about 10, one of my friends was being beat on by her step-mom and it made me so mad, I knew what she was going through. I was tired of seeing the bruises and got on my bike and rode to her house. I told the step-mom that if she hit my friend again I would call the cops on her. She apologized to my friend right there, and the abuse drastically diminished. Then, I was in about the 8th grade. And all the girls at my table were laughing at a little red headed guy carrying a bible at school. They expected me to laugh. I did not laugh. But I knew that my silence was not enough. I said, 'I would not dare make fun of anyone brave enough to do that".
I don't know why I thought of these things after my first post here. They are not dreams, and probably not relevent and off topic for sure. But my burden has lightened in the past few hours.
Ohhh I was not happy about losing my job, especially in this economy. And when it was all over and I was exhausted from giving statements and being hissed at and while I was crying, I said " God why did you make me this way, why can't i look the other way like everyone else. It's like I don't even have a choice, I always have to defend people." I didn't actually wait for an answer, I was just having a pity party.
So I was just thinking about that just now. And thought about all the times that I was up against some type of authority, and confronted them. SCARED TO DEATH. Shaking. Trembling. But determined to do what was right in the eyes of God.. Anyway, I remembered when it all started. I had been sexually abused and physically abused from about 4-14. When I was about 10, one of my friends was being beat on by her step-mom and it made me so mad, I knew what she was going through. I was tired of seeing the bruises and got on my bike and rode to her house. I told the step-mom that if she hit my friend again I would call the cops on her. She apologized to my friend right there, and the abuse drastically diminished. Then, I was in about the 8th grade. And all the girls at my table were laughing at a little red headed guy carrying a bible at school. They expected me to laugh. I did not laugh. But I knew that my silence was not enough. I said, 'I would not dare make fun of anyone brave enough to do that".
I don't know why I thought of these things after my first post here. They are not dreams, and probably not relevent and off topic for sure. But my burden has lightened in the past few hours.
-
Warrior Princess
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 3953
- Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:44 pm
-
WaitingforHim
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 5048
- Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:48 am
Dearest jverdin,
I looked at your dream...and I pondered..hmm. Why would the Lord be showing you in dream something that you already did?
Meaning, you already had this problem at the church and you already left the church...So why would he show you again, as if to show you it were still going to happen.??
My thoughts are that He wants to bring healing to you...and show you that you did the right thing...but also to perhaps teach you something for the future as you move into this ministry again.
In the last place that you left I am sure you were looked at like you were running and that probably made you feel ashamed etc.. But you made the right decision. Unless God tells you otherwise, you shouldn't stay where you are not free to be who you are in Christ. You should find a church where you can GROW and be used of God. But in the next place that you search...to try to prevent this type of thing from happening again, I would go to the Pastor before you join, before you begin to operate in your gifts..and I would share your heart with him...let him know exactly what you believe and and ask questions..find out how he would feel about you operating in the gifts and growing in this way.. That way you know from the beginning how he feels about it and you won't have to worry about being out of order in their church..make sense? You can have all the love and kindness in a church, but if you aren't free to be who God has called you to be then it won't profit you..You will remain feeling empty inside.. This gift that God has given to you is important..and He gave it to you because He can trust you to use it..for His Glory..but you must ask the Lord where He wants you to use it at...Make certain that its this church...Sometimes we are called to certain places just for healing..and then He moves us on...
I hope that helps. I know very much what you feel like..
You cannot run from your calling...but sometimes we need
to just rest and heal before God brings us to that place where
we can bloom again...
Love you dear one.
WFH
I looked at your dream...and I pondered..hmm. Why would the Lord be showing you in dream something that you already did?
Meaning, you already had this problem at the church and you already left the church...So why would he show you again, as if to show you it were still going to happen.??
My thoughts are that He wants to bring healing to you...and show you that you did the right thing...but also to perhaps teach you something for the future as you move into this ministry again.
In the last place that you left I am sure you were looked at like you were running and that probably made you feel ashamed etc.. But you made the right decision. Unless God tells you otherwise, you shouldn't stay where you are not free to be who you are in Christ. You should find a church where you can GROW and be used of God. But in the next place that you search...to try to prevent this type of thing from happening again, I would go to the Pastor before you join, before you begin to operate in your gifts..and I would share your heart with him...let him know exactly what you believe and and ask questions..find out how he would feel about you operating in the gifts and growing in this way.. That way you know from the beginning how he feels about it and you won't have to worry about being out of order in their church..make sense? You can have all the love and kindness in a church, but if you aren't free to be who God has called you to be then it won't profit you..You will remain feeling empty inside.. This gift that God has given to you is important..and He gave it to you because He can trust you to use it..for His Glory..but you must ask the Lord where He wants you to use it at...Make certain that its this church...Sometimes we are called to certain places just for healing..and then He moves us on...
I hope that helps. I know very much what you feel like..
You cannot run from your calling...but sometimes we need
to just rest and heal before God brings us to that place where
we can bloom again...
Love you dear one.
WFH
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
-
Jewels-inhisheart
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 3840
- Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:14 am
Deliverance is beautiful.
Yes its like discharging filth from ur body and spirit.... and ,many in the church seem uncomfortable or unfamiliar with real deliverance.
I have been in it for a year and it takes time,,, is embarrassing as i have a prayer partner to help navigate me through the proper prayers and she hears things i dont want everyone to know,. it hurts as old things are brought up.. oh but the rest and relief after ward!
I do feel changed. The world and things look a bit different then before, u feel transformed... and things that were so tasty before are not so much anymore,,,,
WE need major deliverance in the churches,,get people free and demons cast pout and the church needs to stop being rigid in their theology and get to business in freeing the children of God,,, then we can go out and minster to the ones who are in deeper bondage such as those not born again....
Maybe this is where revival and real holy Spirit evangelism will break out, where a deliverance on a major scale hits the church first?
just a thought.
Yes its like discharging filth from ur body and spirit.... and ,many in the church seem uncomfortable or unfamiliar with real deliverance.
I have been in it for a year and it takes time,,, is embarrassing as i have a prayer partner to help navigate me through the proper prayers and she hears things i dont want everyone to know,. it hurts as old things are brought up.. oh but the rest and relief after ward!
I do feel changed. The world and things look a bit different then before, u feel transformed... and things that were so tasty before are not so much anymore,,,,
WE need major deliverance in the churches,,get people free and demons cast pout and the church needs to stop being rigid in their theology and get to business in freeing the children of God,,, then we can go out and minster to the ones who are in deeper bondage such as those not born again....
Maybe this is where revival and real holy Spirit evangelism will break out, where a deliverance on a major scale hits the church first?
just a thought.
I also believe this is a season for you to heal, and perhaps the Holy Spirit is bringing this chain of events to mind in order to perform this deep healing and renewal.So I was just thinking about that just now. And thought about all the times that I was up against some type of authority, and confronted them. SCARED TO DEATH. Shaking. Trembling. But determined to do what was right in the eyes of God.. Anyway, I remembered when it all started.
The career field you are in is also very high in burn out, so perhaps this time will provide you the tools to take good care of you, so that you can give freely, without withering.
WaitingforHim 's post is so reflective of His love and desire for you. For personal boundaries in order to protect and guard your heart, and wisdom to know His will for you in this process.
Piano