Third, most disturbing dream

[blove]

Okay, this is the most recent dream, and the most disturbing. Sorry it's so long. The next morning I closed my eyes and just typed everything that came to mind. I wanted to capture every detail to make sure I didn't miss anything.

I’m in a room with several people – well-lit – like a doctor’s waiting room or something, but we’re all standing around and people are smiling, talking, laughing, but I can’t hear what is being said. I need to leave the room…maybe to go to the bathroom since that is where I go…I open a door and step inside…just before stepping into the bathroom I look back over my shoulder at the people and I know, I just know, I should not step into the bathroom, but of course I do. So, I step into the bathroom and the door shuts and the bathroom is empty and suddenly I think I need to get back into the room with the people, but I also know they won’t be there….still I open the door and look out and I can see the “waiting room” but it is empty…just like that – empty – in a matter of seconds. I think to myself “OMG, I knew it, I knew this would happen…” and suddenly I know I need to run, so I start running and there is a long corridor then I can see the door to my bedroom at the end and I run and run and suddenly I think the only way I will beat whatever I’m running from is to get through that door

I run and run and I think I will not make it through the door in time, but then I hear “jump” and I say, “It’s too far” and I hear again, “Jump.” But I say, “It’s too high.” And I hear, “JUMP!” and then I do and I leap into the air and I am high, high in the air leaping to the door and there is life all around me and a furnished dwelling below me and I think I need something to get through the door because it won’t open unless I bust through it and suddenly there is a small table/stool in my hands and I’m thinking to myself that this is a dream and I need to wake up, but I don’t and suddenly I am about to hit the door to my bedroom and I put the table/stool in front of me to bust through the door, but at the last second I think what if there is more for me to see and just like that the dream has changed. I’m sitting there talking to a friend when I suddenly see someone outside the window on the roof messing with wires or something…I watch him for a minute or two and I know he shouldn’t see me watching him so I keep my eyes turned to the side and my friend is talking talking talking so I try to get the phone to call 9-1-1 – I have a blanket laid over my lap and I bring the phone close to my ear under the blanket – like I’m just pulling the blanket up to my chin to keep warm - I push the #9 on the phone but I can’t push 1-1…then his head is turning toward me and I’m thinking I need someone there to see him…I’m thinking I need to tell Lillie [a co-worker who is an ordained minister…very strong in her faith] about this and it’s suddenly Lillie on the couch and I’m asking her does she see him or is it just me because so often I’m the only one who can see but no, she says she does see him so it’s not just me…and suddenly I push 1-1 and instead of a ringing I hear a man’s voice in a sing-song kind of voice saying something that I can’t focus on for some reason but I know it’s not 9-1-1 and then I know HE knows I’m calling 9-1-1 and HE knows I know he’s there so he’s looking at me and I’m scared and I know there are other people in the house [I can feel my anxiety knowing that because other people are in the house, they are in danger]….and the dream changes and HE’s in the house but he’s changing before my eyes…shedding layers is the only way to describe it…and he’s becoming different people and there are more people in the house and I’m thinking Lillie is right and I thought if a battle ever actually waged I would sacrifice others but Lillie is right and I cannot – I have to help them – so I start talking to him but I don’t want to talk to him – and I ask him to please let others go…the dream changes and I’m trying to call 9-1-1 from someone’s cell phone because I think he messed with the house wires, but the cell phone gives the same sing-song voice saying things I cannot/will not hear or listen to – and he sees me or knows some how that I’m calling again on a cell phone and it’s like he smirks at me or laughs at me but he’s also angry and I know then that he will not let me call for help then I give the phone to a child – one of Nicole’s [my daughter] friends – and he turns his attention on her and I start trying to distract him from her by talking to him because his attention can be on me, but not on the children and somehow I see some people walking up the driveway – a couple – a woman who is pregnant and a man with long brown hair and a full bear - and I realize I have their children in the house and I’m scared they’ll be pulled into this nightmare but I’m begging him to let them go and he does let them go because it’s not them he wants. And as they leave, I think the kids tell them they want to say bye to us or something because suddenly they (the family leaving) is standing in front of a glass window – a big one like in a store front – and they are saying “bye bye bye” in this funny way like adults do when they want to pacify children – but they (the family) cannot see into the window or if they could they would see all the children lined in front of the window and us (who?) behind them in despair – but they cannot see and all we can do is watch them walk away – I look over and realizes he is watching me and that he knows they cannot see the children and people in despair and that amuses him, and it amuses him that I CAN see it - and I think who will save the children when no one can see they are in danger and I want to cry and the dream changes and I am telling Lillie “He’s the one, Lillie, He’s the one” and Lillie is telling me she knows, yes, she knows, and now I’m writing and I want to cry because HE IS THE ONE and I’m so sad….but the dream changes and we are back on the sofa and while I’m telling Lillie he is the one she grabs a long iron rod – a skinny one like one that is used in construction sites – and she picks it up and aims it at me like she is going to throw it at me and I say “LILLIE!! What the hell?!” then I look at the rod and I say, “That’s the one – it was in my dream” and Lillie picks it up again and says, “I know, yes, I know – it was in my dream, too and I know.” But I don’t know what she knows or why she is giving the rod to me [I thought she was trying to throw it at me – like a spear, but she was actually trying to give me this iron rod]…and the dream changes – and the man is there again, but while I watch him I think he is two people – separate but that isn’t quite right because it’s him – but one view of him or one part of him is a man with shoulder length hair that is parted in the middle and kind of stringy and his eyes have dark, dark rings or shadows around them that seem to be getting worse as I watch…menacing…and the other guy is attractive, normal looking…you wouldn’t expect him to do the things he does to people and I can’t understand why…and while I’m telling Lillie this it’s like I’m in two places telling her all of this because it’s so important that she knows everything but while I’m telling her it’s all happening around me – like I’m repeating a memory but it’s happening as I say it – I can see it happening – and I think to myself where did this man/these men come from and the man – the normal looking one – says “I’ve always been with you – watching – waiting – didn’t you know? You felt me when I visited you” and for a second – one second – I’m confused but then I see the picture in my head and I see him stroke me while I sleep and I see my body react to him and my back arches and I moan, but at the same time, I see myself laying in bed coming awake, breathing hard and looking around because it’s supposed to feel like a dream but I know HE is there and he has been touching me and my heart is pounding even as the pleasure in my body is turning into fear – so I see what he has done, that yes, he has been watching me and sometimes he visits me – waiting for me – but why now does he feel like I should know this or I can know this…why is he showing me and coming for me now? And, suddenly the dream changes and I am sitting there and Levester [my husband] is sitting on the steps in front of me and we are alone except for a child (who feels like an adult) who is behind me slightly to my left watching and Levester is angry because he says the man touched me and I never told him and I say, no, you don’t understand, I didn’t know – it felt like a dream – he snuck into my dreams and my nights – and suddenly the man is sitting behind a beam near Levester watching and smiling and I pinch Levester on his side and tell him the man is there and can hear and I don’t want the man to know he has upset Levester…I think it’s what he wants…but the children in front of the glass are important, I have to tell that, too…and all the while, from nearly the beginning, I think I’m awake recounting this dream already to Lillie, but I’m only dreaming I’m awake talking about a dream, and I think that’s important…and my alarm goes off and I wake up and I think “I have to tell” and I’m trying to get dressed and I keep thinking “Tell about the children” and I think maybe the children…or some of the children…are my sister’s boys, but when they were toddlers…but there were more, so it’s not only them and I think “Write it down” and I say yes, I will when I come to work, but I keep thinking “Write it down"


Post-script: There are aspects of the dream that only became clearer to me when I wrote it down and reread it, and I thought to myself that this isn’t quite right or that isn’t quite right. For example, all the while this is going on I feel there are many, many people around. However, I feel compelled to focus only on “him” and what he is doing. The only person, other than him, that I am completely aware of and interact with is Lillie. Yet, even while I am interacting with Lillie, another part of me is interacting with him and sending the message back to Lillie because I think it is extremely important that she knows what is happening. Several times in the dream I get the impression that I am seeing things that I should not be seeing…like he has tried very hard to make me see something else, but I’m still seeing what’s behind the façade. I also feel that the voice on the phone is important…or rather the words that the voice is saying, but I refused to listen to the words. I don’t think they were good words, and it was mostly a man’s voice, but sometimes a woman’s, as well. I have feelings associated with the dream that I cannot really express. The only way to say it is that I woke up feeling melancholy and very, very sad.
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[Krista]

Hmmm. I know this is probably a very difficult request, but is there anyway you can edit this dream, put more spaces inbetween and double make sure that the point you wanted is made? Particularly around when y ou kept saying "Lilly was right" I'm not sure what she was right on.

This is a powerful dream, and some symbols like the bathroom to having something to do with the "bedroom visitor" bits really hit me. This seems like quite an important dream. In my oppinion but I'm sure the intensity of how you felt it probably makes you feel the same.

*hugs*
Krista

[blove]

Hmmm. I know this is probably a very difficult request, but is there anyway you can edit this dream, put more spaces inbetween and double make sure that the point you wanted is made? Particularly around when y ou kept saying "Lilly was right" I'm not sure what she was right on.

This is a powerful dream, and some symbols like the bathroom to having something to do with the "bedroom visitor" bits really hit me. This seems like quite an important dream. In my oppinion but I'm sure the intensity of how you felt it probably makes you feel the same.

*hugs*
Krista

Hi Krista,

Thank you for your response. I wrote the dream down by simply closing my eyes and typing...I was trying to capture as much detail as possible. I thought about editing it after, but I worried it might make it even longer.

The question you asked about Lillie being right...I wasn't really sure myself. But, in my dream, that was my thought: "Lillie was right!" I think it has something to do with me discussing previous dreams with her.

I told her I sometimes want to leave behind a person to deal with whatever is chasing me, but I always go back to help them...I'm actually compelled to. I told her once I worried I might sacrifice someone else (in my dreams) in order to get away. She said I wouldn't because I would always feel the need to protect people. So, in the dream, I think perhaps I was referring to Lillie in that context.

Thanks for your help!