any thoughts?

WaitingforHim · Post by **WaitingforHim** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:32 pm

I decide to go see my grandma. I was kind of sneaking so that no one would notice me visiting her..I guess I wanted time alone with her?

I see her sleeping on the couch. I walk up and watch her sleeping. I notice her head is terribly swelled up...I knew that wasn't a good thing. I stroked her head in love... she opened her eyes a little and knew it was me..she was happy to see me. I told her I loved her. In the dream she was really small...like a child.

My cousin Angie came in and I asked her about her head..she said she didn't know what was wrong ..she thought it may be a tumor...I remember cursing the tumor at the root. Then I spit on my finger and made a cross on her forhead and baptized her in the name of the Father son and HolySpirit. I then picked her up and put her on my lap.

I felt one of her hip bones sticking out...I asked my cousin about that and she said my aunt Kathy told her that it was from when she fell..I asked why they didn't take her to get help and she said it wasn't a big deal..My heart broke because I could see she was in terrible condition from a lack of care.

My grandma asked me if I could rock her...I told her yes. She said that no one would rock her ...I put her up against my shoulder and rocked her like you would a baby...comforting her..

Later I was talking to my aunt and she said they were going to sell my grandma's home...I asked why and she said that they were going to by her a trailor to stay in because this house was too much for her to care for. I knew in my heart they just wanted the money from the sale...I was so upset inside over this..

WFH

Deep calling unto deep · Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:44 pm

WaitingForHim,
I sense this dream correlate with the "Stolen Baby" dream. I sense there is a specific assignment the Holy Spirit is leading you toward and preparing your heart to receive. Discard any or all portion of this post that does not witness to your spirit. Before He reveals the actual assignment, He breaks our heart for it. Be continually blessed and encouraged.

WaitingforHim · Post by **WaitingforHim** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:02 pm

Deep,
This is not the first dream I have had concerning the same people and the same theme...I have been dreaming this type of dream for a few years now...My heart is broken every time I wake up...My heart is broken for the church...for his people....my heart is broken for those that are hungry and are not being fed..my heart is broken for those that are called but are not being equipped,...my heart is broken for those that have purpose but are being filled with religion...my heart if broken for those that are on fire but have a body that will not budge...my heart is broken for those that wounded but are not being cared for in the body...my heart is broken for the church...My heart is broken for people like you...who have this amazing calling upon their lives and give and give and give but aren't receiving half of what God has for them because there are leaders that are refusing to obey God and do what they are called to do...I sense there has been much that God has affirmed in you and given to you and you have been fine with it because you are not a person after the heart of man but after the heart of the Father...but yet I sense that many times there were opportunities where God called a man or woman of leadership to acknowledge or give honor or equip or lift you up and yet they did not obey out of pride or jealousy..but God picked you up and pulled you close and held you and breathed life into you again...God loves you so much..and all of those that are longing for this place in Him that they haven't been yet...Those that are hungry for HIS TRUTH and Person...For HIS SPIRIT...

I love you..Thank you for sharing..

Deep calling unto deep · Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:05 pm

WaitingForHim,
I just love how the Holy Spirit speaks thru you

! First, let me say that you are right where God wants you to be. On the Potter's Wheel (in training like Moses,David,Joseph). Yes, your heart is broken over a lot of what you see, but God has a more precise and specific assignment for you. I will try to summarize both post in this one.

I fully understand what you are saying. Oftentimes, I read a dream and the Holy Spirit will give a "Word In Due Season", Rhema Word - a "Now" word. I totally agree with you. I have come to understand that when we are hungry for wisdom and understanding, He will take us deeper in what we are seeking. He wants to shine the light on an area that HE wants to move in. This deeper revelation will collide with the surface revelation we are seeking wisdom for. In other words, when we jump into the pool, the Holy Spirit grabs us and takes us under!

I want to wait on the Holy Spirit for the remainder of what I sense He is saying. The thoughts are running faster than my fingers can type and I need to process it. I sense the conclusion to this is, "are you willing to pay the price", regardless of what you will have to forsake or give up or not even get! Sometimes, the very thing we personally ask God for, is the very thing He is asking us to give to HIM! It is hard, but necessary, because HE knows the future. It comes to "trust". We must trust HIM even when it hurts to "let go of something we so badly want or want to hold on to. When God calls us to come deeper, we can't take with us what we want to take or keep what we want to keep. Like Abraham, He just instruct us to go! Just know that God knows what you really want and He knows what HE wants from you! Abraham was blessed tremendously (after he went) and so was Joseph (twelve years later). For now, just surrender and let God do what God will do because HE CANNOT FAIL. When my daughter was little, God asked me to give her to him and I said "no, I want her". It took me years to understand why God would ask me for her. Just be still now, and rest awhile. He will continue to reveal to you in His timing and as you surrender more. He is not going to let you go and that is a gooooooooood thing.

I can only share to the extent He will allow me. I want to say this the way the Holy Spirit is giving it to me.

Deep calling unto deep · Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:36 pm

WaitingForHim,
Oh yes, the Holy Spirit revealed the raw truth of my journey to you. It was painful, but necessary! Oh yes, there were those in Leadership positions who God wanted to use to train, encourage and to even lift me up and pride/jealousy prevented them. The funny thing is; they recognized the calling on my life better than I did at the time. It was allowed by God to happen so I could be delivered from people and institutions/doctrines of man. "People" have been my greatest test.......the good news is.........it made me to be a person after the heart of GOD and not of man! Like Joseph and Abraham, the seperation was necessary. Thank you so much for ministering to me! Truly the Spirit of the Lord is with you, because in your time of seeking, you took time to minister and that is what hearts that have been broken for Jesus does! I know in time, you will lay it all down for the call of Christ Jesus on your life. I can testify that giving up/forsaking everything is actually a good
thing. It did not happen overnight, but thank God, it has happened........I am bound to Christ and He is bound to me. Be blessed and I am praying for you.

WaitingforHim · Post by **WaitingforHim** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:23 pm

I appreciate your prayers...thank you.

I do know the sound of that familiar question..."Will you pay the price?".... In the moments that I am at HIS FEET I say "YES YES YES" all at the same time I am fearing the worst and trying to trust HIM that He will not give to me more than I can bare... Still I hear His voice saying "Fear not"... I am uncertain what He is asking of me...I know that it is everything..and although I have thought I have given to Him everything, I find myself wondering if I have missed something... I can not count the times I have surrendered all.... I think we will forever be surrendering all to Him..because right when we think we have, He shows a little more that we haven't... But in this long wilderness that I have been in I have found myself laying all of it down...I have given all to Him and not grievously either.. For I do not want anything unless its what HE wants me to have. Like Abraham, I have laid down the very first ministry that I had at HIS feet and yes like Abraham I have left on a journey to the unknown and found myself in a place that is so unfamiliar to me...and yet I know God is with me...but at times it feels that all has been stripped from me and I wonder if I will ever see the light of day..I love Him so much...I think the very place in Him that I am searching for is not going to be found on this earth..hahaha. Its something I can't even explain in words..and yet I have not seen it with my natural eyes to even explain it.. I want to do all that He has for me to do in this lifetime, and yet when He has required of me to lay it down I have...But I guess somewhere in this season I am in, it feels that I have lost my way. I don't feel that I have lost HIM, but lost all that I have ever known. I don't want what I used to have...but yet, I can't see what is ahead either. I say I trust Him, but I also feel that in order to see the bigger picture it requires a deeper level of trust that I don't even understand...and that scares me.. I guess my prayer has been, Lord, if this is something that I can't do or isn't your will then take the struggle from me... I will be happy only if I am in the center of HIS will for my life.

I know this was alot of stuff huh..sorry ..
Perhaps this grandma also speaks of my calling..my inheritance..
And yet in the dream I felt there was only so much I could do to help her...Her caretakers didn't care.. I feel there is so much symbolization in this dream.. I am trusting the Lord that if He is revealing something more that I will have ears to Hear Him. But as far as laying it all down..I feel that I have to the extent that I know how to..Its been alot of years of laying down things.. I am wondering if its coming time to move on..

Thank you sweetie..
Your such a HUGE blessing.

Deep calling unto deep · Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:29 am

WaitingForHim

When you have time, google "GOD TV". Then click on "US FEED", UK FEED" and "Global Feed", check the schedule for "The Awakening and Reformation Tour". Please watch it. This will greatly minister to you. I believe you will gain even more clarity. Be blessed! The msg is powerful!

Deep calling unto deep · Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:32 am

WaitingForHim,
Oops! Pls disregard the previous post about the program on "God TV". I stated the wrong program.