I was on the bachelor
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 10:23 am
I'm on the bachelor there were several ladies wanting his attention but he chose me, I left to go get ready because I knew he chose me at "the one" and I was in the bathroom and a gal that I know (she isn't a close friend but I know her and she has such a sweet spirit) came in and said "oh good you changed your shirt around it was inside out (I was wearing a purple shirt with white hawiian print flowers) but don't worry it didn't look bad, I came in to help you get ready" and she helped me with my hair. Even though I was looking into the mirror I didn't see my face I only saw the back of my hair
Then we went out and he told me that I was "it" (even though the "game" wasn't really over meaning he still had to date other women before picking "the one") and I told him "I want to get to know you better" and then I started sobbing. (for some reason I felt that by saying that I couldn't be a part of things anymore)
I didn't want to get to know him intimately (translate closely and personally,) in front of cameras and other ladies. He then started sobbing while comforting me (and it was written across the bottom "sobbing he comforts her" )he kept telling me "you are the one, you are the one" and then I told him "I don't want to get to know you in front of everyone else it's too much" I knew by saying that I couldn't be on the show anymore. (there was also a twinge of jealousy there like I don't want to be "the one" and have to share you with people)
I woke up with a very heavy heart feeling like I had been crying uncontrollably. Feeling regret for saying what I did to end my time with him.
Now it's 5am..(I woke at 3:30 with this and couldn't get back to sleep) and thinking gee it could be a pizza dream (that's what friends of mine call dreams inspired by what you ate before bed rather than the Lord...lol) but it seriously has me thinking about my relationship with the Lord and being transparent and getting to know him "in front of others" and am I really "jealous" (translate want to get rid of) the things that come between me and him so I thought I would throw it out here and see if anyone else discerns anything.
Then we went out and he told me that I was "it" (even though the "game" wasn't really over meaning he still had to date other women before picking "the one") and I told him "I want to get to know you better" and then I started sobbing. (for some reason I felt that by saying that I couldn't be a part of things anymore)
I didn't want to get to know him intimately (translate closely and personally,) in front of cameras and other ladies. He then started sobbing while comforting me (and it was written across the bottom "sobbing he comforts her" )he kept telling me "you are the one, you are the one" and then I told him "I don't want to get to know you in front of everyone else it's too much" I knew by saying that I couldn't be on the show anymore. (there was also a twinge of jealousy there like I don't want to be "the one" and have to share you with people)
I woke up with a very heavy heart feeling like I had been crying uncontrollably. Feeling regret for saying what I did to end my time with him.
Now it's 5am..(I woke at 3:30 with this and couldn't get back to sleep) and thinking gee it could be a pizza dream (that's what friends of mine call dreams inspired by what you ate before bed rather than the Lord...lol) but it seriously has me thinking about my relationship with the Lord and being transparent and getting to know him "in front of others" and am I really "jealous" (translate want to get rid of) the things that come between me and him so I thought I would throw it out here and see if anyone else discerns anything.