dream of Queen executed.

[Jewels-inhisheart]

I had a macabre dream.
I was getting ready to celebrate halo ween. Something i never do in the natural. I was trying to find a last minute outfit and settled on dark eyeliner of some sort, and hippie outfit. I had a baby sitter sitting with some kids of mine but i seemed to be costuming a baby to but in a long princess dress.

I saw myself amongst arty goers having fun,. I was doing something ij my heart was against my convictions.

Then it seems to go into he past and im witnessing a terrible scene. Some King became angry with his queen. She was to be executed.. I sensed she was not a good person But she herself held her pride to the end but i also sensed some compassion for her. . She was a human being and her end was coming and in someways to didn't seem quite fair,.
I saw her being prepared, i think i saw a white dress and then Red shoes that looked bloody being fitted for her. I saw a garment of death being put on her.
She addressed the king... and i cant recall her saying anything to him but " i will never forgive you!



Now i have to admit last night...late last night there was strife between and ed. IM not going to say bad things about him when he cant defend himself ..but ill say what im feeling...unheard... not listened to... and treated as if i have no common sense and don't know anything. I was so mad last night i considered scene Ed is on his long break and Eden was here ...packing a few things and going off to the hotel i was in during the storm for a day or two. No telling him,,juts somehow getting my stuff and leaving and ;letting him trying to figure out where i was.
childish yes... bu ti thought /.possibly he will listen ..,maybe he will soften and see this is getting to me. Not the presents,,, and the nice thin gs can make this right...

WE got into another argument this afternoon . it was nasty...


I want to in my flesh to teach him a thing or tow to leave for the olive tree inn and jys let him stew here. But in my heart i know God doe-sent want that. It would leave Eden upset and even if he do sent think i m really needed f and he could handle things i know i would be missed.

Ed is not a bad man. Theirs this massive communication gulf between us. He is a good person and i do love him...but he just seem-in my opinion willing not let go fully past hurts and wont ever see me anything more then what hes been used to seeing.I can get mad still and when i do i can cut my words like a knife and said some hurtful things. I was angry and wnated him to feel it. I'm admitting it here. ..... IM not sure if those dreams and whats going on are connected. I m not saying im right, My temper even now in regards to ed can get ugly, it stems from past situations in my past where felt deeply dissed by men and couldn't] do anythign about it... and im still smarting inside from all that and when ED acts in a way i feel is very disrespectful and ,mean i can get awfully upset.
He would say
"shes disrespecting me"., yes i did... i admit that... but its because i felt begging last night of being treated as a child....
God is the one with the Solomon wisdom and knows whose right. Maybe neither one.
Maybe this is telling me thesis not about him but about inner healing from years ago before i married him that needed addressed.
In Aslans place we have only touched on inner healing. That is somethign that has only been started in spurts....
Pray for me I know im not acting right..but there seems something simmering deep down and comes to the surface in certain ways Ed treats me or some things he says,,are like triggers.....Though im not going anywhere im still angry... and just wantto barricade myself in my room and be left alone... i feel frustrated on a massive scale.] [/i]

[Newwine]

Hey sis. For your prayerful consideration.

I hear ya. Just yesterday me and another were kinda getting into it because the words we were saying were getting scrambled and I eventually shut up because felt it was due to past associations, something I mentioned when I looked to explain why I didn't continue the conversation.

They went on to say how they are learning that they don't have to explain themselves and not sure if he was referring that to me first looking to explain what I meant, or were more referencing it just himself.

I personally like to explain myself as I feel that is my part to help clear the air but I don't have to go on if they don't get it or continue to misconstrue what I say. I recognized past associations were at work and they were quick to jump to conclusions as to what I was saying and meant. And I am not looking to judge them because I know I can go there too and have. We ended with words of love and changed the subject. One thing I can appreciate about my relationship with this guy is we are pretty quick to see what is unfruitful and can move on.

Yes sis, our past associations can get in the way from truly hearing and seeing. This is something the Lord has shown me and feel it is something the body of Christ suffers from and need healing and deliverance from in order to unite in his love. And if not something more deeply rooted, to toss it aside.

Anyway, what you said about your position on it that you felt was wrong is something I see too so thought it was good insight. Sometimes we do take a wrong position because others may not be seeing us at a deeper level. It doesn't make what we do right, just how others sometimes miss that and just want to point out our pride, stubborness, whatever and it can make it more challenging to keep our hearts clean. It doesn't give us an excuse to choose the ways of darkness over the Light of the Lord but it does help us in understanding these things and looking to communicate and such at a deeper level instead of like condemning.

We all have needs that are due to our severed life from God in the fall. How we choose to deal with those needs will determine how we come out of it.

And yes, these things will just come out of nowhere because of those past associations that we need deliverance from. When it just comes out then I feel it is something at a deeper level. There are times when it isn't an automatic response but something we may choose to go to, looking toward past negative experiences and those are things we should not engage in as they can hinder us from seeing in the Lord's Light.

Sis, I have felt the same way in situations I have witnessed with others, and even with myself in regards to what you said with the queen and feeling it unfair to a degree too because she appears to have been treated poorly. I feel I hear ya. Even so, we are all first and foremost responsible to the Lord and as we take our hearts to him we allow him to work in the situation. Forgive if even to free yourself.

With what I said on forgiveness (and not to get into a doctrinal discussion on it) I have felt I couldn't exactly see what others were saying with forgiveness being a choice. There are times I don't feel it is a choice to me because my heart doesn't listen to my head. Maybe at times as we may allow our heads to lead but generally no. My heart has a mind of its own. But I can choose not to give into my desires there and take my heart to the Lord, opening it up to Him to fix it and have him connect me to his heart on the matter. For me I feel the choice is more not choosing the way of darkness but taking my heart to the Lord and allowing the work of Christ to put his disposition in me.

Interesting too as I had some time at work and when I opened my bag, of which I carry books in, I read through some passages in "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. Haven't been in it in awhile and felt like reading through some of it as I like his insights. In one of the entries He was speaking on the Sermon on the Mount and what Jesus said there is impossible for any of us to reach it on our own. As Oswald mentioned, it was to show us how that standard (of which I see the sermon on the mount being a standard of a pure heart) is not one we can reach of our own and will leave us, forgot the word he used but something like in despairing of it all, but Jesus came to do in us what we could not do. He came to create in us this new life that would lead to his purity of heart. He wasn't just giving us a standard but was something He would do in us by his work on the cross and his Spirit in us.

Anyway, the dream does appear to speak of your choices in the matter but also showing you the view from your side and why you have chosen this more darkened way. You may not be able to change your heart on your own but you can choose how you will handle it.

The second portion of the dream reminds me too of what the book of Romans says regarding the law being like a husband that can appear demanding, and I feel as such cruel too. See, the law cannot change our hearts and doesn't relate so its demands leave us feeling hopeless and despairing. But in death with Jesus we are freed from the law and can now enter into new relationship with our bridegroom Jesus who changes our hearts, relates to us, intercedes for us, and helps us in our time of need.

It may be that the queen is being prepared for death to self for the law is good and doesn't die. We die to the law and as such find freedom from it and its demands. We are then free to unite to Jesus who does the work in us. Don't know how well it fits but offer it up for your prayerful consideration.

Again, for your prayerful consideration. Feel free to toss what may not fit.

Love in Him,
Joanne

[Newwine]

By the way, meant to ask, what is a macabre dream?

[Jewels-inhisheart]

The insight was great new wine... and somebody else shared with me about this that gave some very good wisdom.Thank u,,for ur in depth look at-this and words of comfort and counsel.



I think the Halloween thing is that me going off to a hotel for a few days dressing;like a hippie was showing a rebellious' ill do it my way' attitude that was as ugly and witchy as if went i practicing halo weening. I had protection when i was snowed in went to the motel for a few days.... my pastors paid or the first two days and i needed that. So God was with me..but in a fit of spite when there was not real danger it would have been like going Halo-weening( which i consider spiritual dangerous )....

The queen was probably me and ii sense that she was rebellious and had reasons her king was mad... so she was not so Innocent so maybe God ions telling me "your are frustrating him... u are acting in ways that is causing some of this your pride im getting int he way_ but at-the same time i sensed also that SH NEEDED SOME COMPASSION.. and the punishment didn't fit the crime.......




after i wrote this i asked ed to read it. I was surprised at his answer. He warmly hugged me... and seemed to really soften. He said we did have communication problems. I admitted to him that i have deep pounds from very early i think are now resurfacing. See i have been in generational deliverance which can be two pronged if understand it. Theirs dealing with ancestral and personal sins that have brought curses into a family and then theirs the inner healing part. I have only had some inner healing. Perhaps God is leading me that this year will be the year we start going into my past and addressing the root of anger....
See i have for a long time felt i was looked upon as dumb. stupid incapable... a nut. Everyone better at everything else and i wasn't good at anything. a failure at everything, AS a little girl l m,y l;looks( which made me turn myself into my own "fairy godmother "at 15 and though i changed in looks it sent me down a even more painful path with more rejection) I were made fun of...my clothes... ( even last year at Eden graduation i wore a late 70s early 80s vintage ruffed dress i thought was pretty,,,, a WOMAN made a comment that must be why Eden looked so grumpy,,which it wasn't, the reason ,, that comment hurt and stung and u have now given the dress away ready to be boxed and ship away.,,, This school was a place i didn't see many dressed up other then the kids who had their grad gown on and i thought i had a nice dress... who would notice or care anyway?....anyhow as a kid i sensed i knew i was different and didst fit in. The marks of this are deep.

Some of it i brought to myself... and other choices were made for me..see... i was separated by my mom who would have known how to dress me and teach me to act 'normal" correcting me ext but let my dad have custody of me when i was about 7 because of a abusive marriage she was in.....


Now that im grown when ed looks at me in that way i see as uppity way and uses a condensing .. or what sounds like oppressively reproving tone with me..or a word that says im stupid..i have recently started getting triggers of deep resentment and anger at him. Its coming to the surface. I think its because God wants me to recognized the hurts maybe? i have tried to just forget and let him in to heal it. REALLY heal it. from deep inside, I feel i need a holy fire to go deep in the innards where my heart was broke and just slam everything back together. and all poison and infection sucked out.

Ed really is great husband and i deeply love him. I want him to see me in a romantic way ...im a way he can honor me. iI admit o\i have ruined a lot of that myself. But if feel i have tried to redeem myself in his years to making him proud but i dont get the feedback i yearn for.,


Ed is a nice guy and most people really like him. He is a good dad and a good husband and i am a difficult woman. But inside i just cant think im wrong all the time....

I need Jesus to go into the past hurts and parts of me and heal. I'm hoping God will start this process. I have another appointment with the healing room in April maybe but how does one go back as far as three years old and make their way up to about 18 in 5 hours?

I'm hoping for more time with Aslans place,. Please pray about that with me.... That God will open a window we cant open and we can resume the process.m if God approves..
iI wan to be healed..and these feelings of deep hurt and humiliation and abasement will Finnish and i can love Ed as i should.

[Lily_Rose_Song]

Hi Jewels sweetie,

I believe your "Queen Executed" dream is, at least in part, about the devil wanting to divide and destroy your marriage and your life.

I recently went through a rough time with my husband, who out of the clear blue went "ornery" on me (big time ornery). So I had a "refresher" in what God has taught me over the years about this kind of situation – and what I’m sharing here. I'm sure you know all this. But maybe it will help hearing it from someone else.

Point #1) You have an enemy. It is not your husband.

The devil will send demons to whisper negative thoughts into your mind and his - things like, "I don't deserve that kind of treatment!" and "He's not treating me fairly!" and "Oh, poor me," and, “I aught to teach him a lesson!” And the devil will put thoughts into his mind, "She's not respecting me." "She's got a chip on her shoulder's," “I’m going to teach her a thing or two!” and, “I don’t have to put up with this *&^%(&^$@#\%^, etc. When we accept those thoughts as our own we are, in effect, agreeing with the demons who put them there.

REMEMBER - those kinds of thoughts come from the devil. When your husband goes ballistic, the BEST THING (no exceptions) you can do is to realize that the enemy has his claws in him and is trying to bring death to your marriage and "kill it". He wants you two attacking each other like in your dream. AND he wants pride to come between you and be the sword that divides and slaughters you. He wants you divorced and miserable for the rest of your lives. Because he KNOWS the good that can come from your marriage when you two “get it together”. He HATES that. That’s why those problems keep coming up. The devil doesn’t give up easy.

Again, realize that your enemy is NOT Ed, it's the devil. PRAY for Ed that he will come to see and recognize that the devil has him in bondage, and that he will quit agreeing with the devil.

AND YOU must put your focus on your wrong actions, not his. There are no "buts" allowed. You must quit agreeing with the devil, by letting him manipulate your feelings and turning you against your husband. It’s a choice – we CHOOSE how we will react, yes, even when our emotions are involved. Pray for God’s help – He will NOT fail you when your motive is to do things His way, and your desire is to act in love, even if you don’t feel it at the moment. God will help you get to where you need to be emotionally and intellectually.

Ask God to give you deep heartfelt mercy toward your husband, and love for him that the devil cannot quench. That is the ONLY way that I have found to solve this kind of problem – and I’ve had this problem a LOT through the years, believe me.

The demons will leave when they realizes you're not going to play their game anymore - that you've refused to be his pawn. The best thing is to pray and thank God for your husband, and worship God. Demons hate worship – they’ll “bug out.”

I have soooooo been there. This info I have even recently had to put into practice. It was not fun, but when I reacted correctly a difficult situation turned around and a blessing has come from it. God can work if and when we provide an environment for His love -- our heart. But God won’t force us OR our mate to respond they way we should. They, too, have to choose. But when we choose right, we have removed ourselves from being part of the problem, and taken the focus off ourselves. It seems to me that is when God can being to heal the situation. One of us has to break the cycle—one of us has to say no to the devil.

Yes, sometimes there is a time to leave – but on God’s terms, not our terms fueled by self-pity, pride and self-righteousness (some of the devil’s favorite weapons). If our physical life or health is in danger because the enemy has our mate so twisted with rage and hate that he/she could do physical harm or serious emotional damage, then it would be time to leave. But when we’re in the throes of self-pity, we’re not the clearest thinking. That’s when it’s time for Christ centered counseling.

Hope this helps. As I said, it was hard won and expensive. Took me a bunch of years to get to this point and I'm not sure I'm going to do it right next time. But God is GOOD. He remains faithful, even when we’re not. Hallelujah!!!!

Again, I'm sure you know all this. Maybe it will help hearing it from someone else.

Big hugs & lots of love,
Patti

[Lily_Rose_Song]

P.S. BTW - I'm very interested in removing generational curses because I believe my family suffers from them. I very much appreciated your comments about that topic - gives me some new insight & things to consider.

NEVER FORGET:

You are a PRINCESS! ("He has made us kings and priests...") God has placed a crown gilt of priceless love on your head! For you Jesus gave up his LIFE! Your value is beyond measure. You need not bow your head to fear or humiliation or depression. When anyone criticizes, THEY are the ones to pity, because they have just separated themselves from God and denegraded one of HIS KIDS! They need to repent! But most of them don't know enough to know they need to do it, or aren't willing. They are the ones who should be humiliated because they have spoken against a daughter or son of God! And then they should turn to God for Him to cleanse them from sin and forgive them.

We look to the future. Our Kingdom is not of this world. The Good Book tells us that if they have belittled our KING, they will surely belittle us. But we need not surrender our dignity to ANYONE unless and until requested to do so by our Loving Father, our big brother Jesus, and our caring Comforter Holy Spirit. And even then, no one can take who and what we are from us.

I like the following line from the movie, "Princess Diaries 1" Joe said something to the effect of (not sure if I got the quote exactly right, but this is the gist of it),

"You should know that no one can make you feel bad without your permission."

If the devil hits you a dirty blow through disparaging comments, tell him to take a hike! You're a daughter of THE GREAT MAGNIFICENT GOD!!! A Ruler headed to a THRONE! on a street made of GOLD!!! in a city founded on precious gemstones!

Never forget who you are. Focus on THAT!

But as a King (or Queen) and a Priest, you and I have a responsibility to pray for those poor misguided souls who may be the very ones trying to offend and denegrade us -- even if they don't appreciate it -- even if they belittle and condemn us for it. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God. We have an honored position, but also great responsibility. It is our responsibility to keep our focus on God and pray -- even for our enemies -- for them to come to repentance and some day be welcomed into the family and Kingdom of God.

The devil will do his best to hit you where it hurts - But we have the power to deal him a vastly more decisive blow--thanks to the help and mercy of our Father. We do not need to bow to the pain and discouragment he tries to paint us with.

We can win this battle! HURRAH!!!

Fighting along side you,
Lily

[Jewels-inhisheart]

Lilly Rose Song!


IM happy u put your word of encouragement and insight where for everyone to learn From... there a lot of truth and wisdom in your post
Thanks so much for sharing. i know when one gives a lengthy Post( i like lengthy posts TO ME) they are giving of their heart and attention.

Yes this was a warning reproof dream.... and a dream of whats i may need in The months to come to come into deeper wholeness and be a better wife, mother and daughter.....
Maybe Jesus will always allow some scars to remain to remind me of what i have been through but in a way that will look beautiful and feel in a way so complete ,,it would be as if i had never been hurt at all...


Years ago a man of God told me i had ; brokenness and SHATTERING IN ME" I WASN'T SURE WHAT HE MEANT BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY ANOTHER COUNSELOR THERE WAS BROKEN PARTS INSIDE THAT NEEDED HEALING.(words to that effect)

Let the healing Begin!:!: