I had a very strange dream. I can't have any more natural children so I take this dream to be symbolic.
It was a new born baby boy half African descent. Beautiful chocolate skin and a head full of the most beautiful curly hair. I nurtured this baby because I loved it so. I held it, fed it, burped it, cuddled it and I loved doing it. The baby had huge eyes.
Although this was a newborn baby I see that he stands, talk, dances and does things that a normal newborn cannot do. Although he could do this .....I still treated him like a newborn.....I bonded with him....and would often ask him questions. Are you really mine? Did you come from me? But then I would reassure myself and say to him strongly....yes you are my son ......you ARE my son!The newbaby participated in a dance group routine. The leader of the group was told by someone else to not focus so much on technique and to allow the baby's eyes to show the emotion in them.
The dance team competes and they are on next. I come in with them but forget to take off my jacket and when I do so it...throws the whole routine off. However my new baby does well in the routine because we see his eyes. The leader is upset and storms out of the room. I am scared that he will blame the los on me because I messed up.
They announce the winners (1st, 2nd place) now for the 3rd place. Our team name is called and our team leader comes foward to collect tthe trophie and the judge tells him the same thing " It was not your technique that caused you all to win .....it was the baby and the emotion we seen in his eyes (the sadness)" We are all happy about the win and so is the team leader. I feel relief and I am reminded that our team leader was being given the same advice again but this time through the judge.
Scene change:
I am in cap and gown standing in a place with a lot of other graduates. We are all graduating with our AA degree but not in college studies. We are in church and the pastor is getting ready to give us a speech. I am standing all the way in the back on the last row....not happy about who is giving the speech. My time spent getting the degree was very hard and I couldn't wait to leave the graduation. I knew my next level was a BA degree and I was looking forward to a new teacher and environment. I was not happy at my graduation but what kept me going was knowing that I finished this degree and would move on.
